Holding On and Letting Go


I've been thinking about this lately, because I have definitely fallen a long way from having a full-time job, a car, and owning a house. I live in a place I want desperately to leave, and can't seem to get out of it. Something always seems to hold me back. Well, I've decided that what is holding me back is ME.

Sometimes frugality is not enough. Sometimes you just have to do that capitalistic thing and WORK HARDER to get what you need. Not what you want, what you NEED. I need to move. I need my own place. Making excuses is not going to get me there.

Not only do I have to work harder, but I have to LET GO of all these things I think are essential to my life. I go through boxes over and over and somehow I believe I need all this stuff for when I get my own place again. I don't. I need about 10% of it. I need my mattresses, my clothes, my kitchen stuff, and the things that are dear to me that I can't replace. That's it. I don't NEED any of the rest of it. I don't even need all the kitchen stuff. I have way too much bakeware, truly I do. I used to bake a lot, but I haven't done that for years, so why am I hanging on to that stuff?

Then there are my family antiques. I need those. They are all I have left of the people in my family who truly loved me. But that is 3 pieces of furniture. Every other piece of furniture I have can go. I can replace it all later. Right now, what I NEED is to move, and hanging on to sentimental things is just not feasible.

I have been acting on the assumption that things will get better, that I will eventually be able to make enough money to move where I want to. That isn't going to happen. I need to downscale that dream even further, and just face the fact that my life is never going to be the same as it was, and I am too old to live in misery, trapped in one 200sf space in a house where I can't even use the other rooms in peace. I don't mind living in the 200sf, I mind feeling trapped here. But this is a cage of my own making.

So I need to WORK HARDER. Sometimes, you just have to do that. I worked my tail off and exhausted myself getting the money for my son's wedding. I can surely do that for myself, right?

Stop waiting for someone or something to pull your ass out of the fire and JUST DO IT.  And be willling to LET GO of what isn't necessary to your life.

3 comments:

  1. I hate google plus!! I just wrote a comment that didn't take! Let's see if this one does............

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  2. It figures - the "I hate" one worked! Anyway Deb, I hope you talked some sense into yourself! I can't add much more. You truly DO need to get out of tha place. It is not healthy for you. Start with just 3 steps at a time so that you don't become overwhelmed. Happy Friday!

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